As an addendum to the previous post, I’d like to take this opportunity to come out as a trans man. This discovery has been largely due to my time roleplaying with Reuven. Whether or not we ever have time to finish BST, I’m grateful for having the experience to play Hawker and having gotten the opportunity to get to know myself a little better while doing it.
I’m no stranger to trans identity, I should note. The roleplay didn’t “make” me trans or anything like that – I’ve known I was not cis for many years, and there have been major signs of transmasculinity going back as far as I can remember. From childhood attempts to shave, to teenage attempts to bind, to the inexplicable lifelong obsession with crossdressing, I’ve always been a little off.
So if you’ve been referring to me as either “she” or “they”, I’m ordering a full-stop: please exercise the use of male pronouns when talking to/about me from now on!
I’m also putting some of my smut projects on hold while I sort myself out. As it happens, sometimes the mental switch when a trans person realizes their true identity is sudden and complete, and continuing to do things the way they’d done them before can be unbearable at worst, or plain unappealing at best. For me, the shift has indeed happened, but I’m still mostly caught up in the whirlwind of it all, and I’m still evaluating my feelings right now. To go back to writing things from a woman’s POV right now would be difficult and uninteresting to me. This may not always be the case, but for now it is. I’m also, at the moment, unsure of how to handle my old submissive/tiny leanings. I still associate them with femininity and womanhood right now and am currently swinging WAY in the other direction with all these dominant urges, so time will only tell with that as well, though I know I’ve still got lots of bottom/sub/tiny bones in my body. It’s just a matter of giving myself time to adjust.
Say goodbye to the strictly femmy nonbinary sub that I was – and say hello to the new masc vers/switchy/size-shifting me~