So you’ve purchased a pet human, and need to know a few things about care for your new pet!
Humans are intelligent, energetic, largely self reliant creatures who enjoy the company of other humans and creatures from their native world.
Human needs are simple, but must be met! Humans are fragile and are NOT for those who cannot commit to their care!
Humans need:
– Food, 3x daily
Humans need to eat both plant and animal matter to maintain a healthy balance. Occasionally, a human will refuse certain types of animal matter, and a very few humans will ALWAYS refuse all animal matter. If that happens, your human will need to take a Vitamin Pill.
Acceptable Earth plants: carrots, potatoes, bananas, radishes, lemons, limes, apples, beans, peas, tomatoes, oranges, strawberries, blackberries, lettuce, spinach, corn.
Acceptable Earth animal matter: Pork (derived from the animals called “Pig”), Beef (derived from “Cows”), Poultry (derived from birds, particularly the “Chicken”), eggs (also derived from birds), Milk (derived from the female “cow”).
If you are unsure if your human can eat it, use the Translation Device to ask.
Older humans can prepare their own food, as long as they are given the ingredients, tools, and a sufficient source of heat, but premade, prepackaged meals are available in every store for your pet.
– Clean Water, 8x daily
The average human drinks 8 cups of water a day. If your human doesn’t drink all 8 cups, don’t worry, as long as they drink at least 4, they will be fine.
– Sleep
Your human will need a soft, warm, dark, quiet place to sleep, as they sleep between 6-12 hours a night (more, if they are newborn).
Humans typically require a large rectangle of cloth, 6 or 7 inches thick, stuffed with a product called “cotton”, which they call a Mattress. The mattress should be covered with large colorful rectangles of fabric, which they call Blankets. These Blankets keep the humans warm and content during their sleep cycle.
Some humans prefer a Couch or a “hammock” to a mattress, but as long as they have somewhere warm and dark, they will be comfortable.
– Entertainment
Humans need to have something to entertain them when they are awake. When they were still wild, they made toys to entertain themselves. We have replicas of the toys in-store. while younger Humans (less than 8 years) will be satisfied with fluffy, crude approximations of earth animals and small blocks of wood, most older humans will not. For older humans, we recommend toys called “electronics”. These toys play tonal patterns, capture and hold images of other humans, videos of humans, animals, and drawings, and simple games.
– Exercise
Humans require exercise to be happy and healthy, so take your human for a walk at least once a day!
– Grooming
Most humans are fastidious about their cleanliness. each human is sold with a weeks worth of care supplies, which includes a bottle of Shampoo (used to clean and soften their top fur), a Razor (used to remove or trim their body and face fur), a bar of soap (used to clean the skin), a toothbrush and toothpaste (used to clean the bones in their mouths), and a towel (used to dry the water off their skin after they finish cleaning.
Humans will require a portable Shower, which we sell in store.
Fun Facts:
1) Humans can live to be as old as 100, but the average life span of a human is 90 years.
2) Female humans can feed their young from their own bodies for as long as 2 years.
3) Humans form extremely strong familial bonds. For this reason, we never separate young from their parents before they reach at least 16 years of age, and strongly recommend regular contact be kept between separated pack members, particularly in the winter months. Without regular familial contact, many humans will become sullen and lethargic.
4) Humans may take many mates, but a large portion find a single mate and stick with them. If this happens, separating the mates can cause extreme ill health in your pet, so please, keep mates together.
5) Humans are pack animals, it is advised to keep a group of at least 3 humans. If you cannot afford to keep a family or group, take your human to a Park at least once a week to meet and play with other humans!
6) Humans have many different languages, and communicate through sound produced by vibrating cords in their throats. They also have a written form of each language. Every human is sold with a translator tuned to their particular language, so that you can communicate with your pet! They enjoy conversation.
7) Humans keep their own pets! If your human asks for a pet, the best pets for your human to choose from are dogs, cats, or birds. Dogs are the most recommended, as their needs are basically the same as a young humans.
8) Humans can only see between 7,000,000 and 10,000,000 colors. Some of these are eyesores. Certain colors and color relationships can be eye irritants, cause headaches, and wreak havoc with human vision. Other colors and color combinations are soothing.
9) Humans enjoy playing in the snow, but their play time should be limited to avoid getting too cold. An hour at a time should be the limit, and they should wear protective clothing.
10) Humans can change colors to indicate how they feel. Certain colors, such as yellow, green, and blue indicate an illness, while other, such as red, pink, and gray indicate emotion. Make sure to evaluate your humans color often!
For the alien giants out there looking to purchase a (consenting) tiny human!