To me “service” means “being useful.” Having the ability to see a need and fulfill it, whether kneeling at your feet or doing dishes. Being able to give what you ask of me, what you want of me, whether spoken or intuited.
My role in service is to support you, so that you in turn can support and nurture me. So that we can both grow from this. Every act is to further our relationship.
Service is meaningless without purpose. Doing chores has an obvious purpose – to get them done – but layered above that is fulfilling my role of taking care of you and giving you the gift of time and freedom to do or think about other things. You get free time, I get a way to turn my brain off from the things worrying me for a few minutes while I focus on my task.
Purpose manifests in other ways. I want to be useful in the ways that you desire me – to accept the pain and roughness you need to inflict, to give you full reign to be the beast without fear of repercussion. That’s what I strive to give to you. In return I seek pride of accomplishment, of challenging myself, of accepting something new and taking what you dole out. I might manage to make this look easy, but you and I both know the effort required – yet you are able to guide me through and support me, because you truly want me to succeed.
Letting you in is another form of service. You need to know what I need. You need to know how to help. What my goals are, how I want to achieve them, how to remove barriers and encourage me. What my fantasies are, so that you can fulfill them.
My fantasies are not “do whatever you want to me.” Yet I do want to be challenged, and there are so many unknowns to me still of what is possible.
So I will focus instead on themes. Ideas. Concepts.
Of being helpless, restrained, bound with nowhere to go – caught. Of being subject to fate, random chance – it’s not fair, it could have just as easily been a more favorable outcome! – but it wasn’t. Of being ravished and manhandled, a possession, full raw passion consuming us both. Of being lovingly teased for minutes, hours, days, my worst enemy being lack of patience as you grin at my sweet torment while I beg for release. Of being a toy, a plaything to pinch and spank and tie and torture and put in evil predicaments while trying to deny how wet it makes me. These are themes of my fantasies. These are what I need.
These are the things I want to give you, to take and run with wild abandon. All the things your creativity can dream of. I want to look you in the eyes as you hurt me and challenge you to keep going. To challenge myself to be stronger so that you may give me more. To trust.
Serving you means that I trust you, that I know you, and that you know me. That I am devoted to you. That I know I can follow where you lead. And I know I can.
Relevant to my G/t interests